Ep. 86 Stop Outsourcing Your Authority: How to Trust Yourself in Business

One of the most important shifts I've made in my career as an online business owner has nothing to do with branding, marketing, or sales, which is honestly saying a lot considering those are the things I talk about constantly. It has been learning to stop asking everyone else what I should do in my business.

When I first started out, I did not know anything. I knew that I was a pretty good designer and I knew that people would probably pay me to do that. But as far as running a business goes, I was completely uneducated and naive. So naturally, I started consuming podcasts and courses. I hired a business coach. I asked lots and lots of questions. I went through a real information collecting phase.

And that is exactly what we should be doing when we start a business.

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But here's the catch. If we're not careful, we never stop trying to be the student. We get so used to asking someone else what we should do, or asking for permission, that making decisions on our own starts to feel deeply uncomfortable.

This doesn't happen overnight. It's a slow accumulation, a slow burn, until one day you realize you're asking five different people whether you should change your website headline. They're all giving you different answers. Now you feel overwhelmed, so you just don't do anything at all. And that is exactly what keeps us from taking action in our business.

First thing’s first… this isn't an anti-coaching rant

I want to be careful here because I don't want this to sound like I'm telling you to never ask anyone else for their opinion. That's not the case. I still ask people I trust for input all the time.

The difference is why I'm asking.

Usually I already know what I want to do. I just need to verbally process it, say it out loud to someone, and hopefully hear them say "I think you're on the right track" or "this is great." That is very different from being in a position where you literally cannot make a decision until six other people weigh in.

One of those is collaboration. The other is dependency.

The coin flip trick

My husband and I have this thing we do when we're trying to decide something small and inconsequential, like what to have for dinner. We'll flip a coin about it. And one of the things I've learned from him is that the point of flipping a coin isn't really to tell you if you should have hamburgers or pizza.

It's that the moment the coin lands, you instantly know which choice you actually wanted. Either you're happy because now you're having hamburgers, or you think "man" and realize you really wanted pizza after all. The coin doesn't take the decision away from you. It reveals the decision you already made somewhere inside yourself.

I think that is exactly the right way to approach asking other people for their opinion about your business decisions.

Here's a real, current example. I've been working on new ideas for lead magnets and opt-ins, ways to warm people up and move them closer to booking a Stand Out Brand Strategy Session. One idea was a small private podcast where I interview past clients about their experience working with Specht & Co. and the results they've gotten.

I brought the idea to a couple of mastermind and networking groups I'm part of and asked what they thought. The feedback was mixed. A few people loved it. Several said they weren't sure, or that I was on the right track but should change some things.

And I felt myself get defensive. I started thinking, "well, no, but here's why I want to do it."

That reaction told me everything I needed to know. I was passionate about this idea. Maybe there were tweaks to make it more effective, but my gut reaction to the pushback told me I already knew I wanted to do it. That is a very different outcome than polling the audience, getting two yeses and five nos, and quietly shelving the idea.

Not every opinion deserves equal weight

We need to be a lot more discerning about who we're asking for opinions in the first place.

If I have a legal question, I ask an attorney. I don't ask my business bestie who's a copywriter. If I have a tax question, I ask an accountant, not my husband. If I need investment advice, I ask a financial consultant, not my hairdresser. So when it comes to deciding my messaging, positioning, offers, or the direction of my business, at some point those decisions all have to come back to me.

Years ago I read something on the internet that has stuck with me ever since: never ask for advice from people who have never been where you're trying to go. Honestly, that might be the single most valuable piece of wisdom I've ever come across, in life and in business.

We so often want advice from people we love and feel close to. But take a second and ask yourself: have they made decisions in their own life or business that you'd actually want to have made? Would you want their business? Their life? If the answer is no, why would you base your decisions on what they're telling you to do?

At some point, every decision in your business has to come back to you. You hold all the responsibility, but you also reap all the rewards, and that's exactly why it can't be outsourced.

Expertise and authority are not the same thing

Someone can absolutely know more than you about their specific craft. A photographer knows photography better than you. A copywriter knows copy better than you. A brand strategist knows branding better than you. That is exactly why you hire those people.

But they don't know your vision. They don't know your values. They don't know your long-term goals or what kind of business or life you're actually trying to build. Better than you do, that is.

They are the expert in their craft. You are the authority on your business. Both of those things can, and should, exist at the same time. It's your job to hold the vision and be the authority. It's their job to be the expert and execute really well on their piece of it, guided by your vision and your authority.

Too many cooks in the kitchen

If you're reading this and thinking "wow, I kind of do ask everyone for their opinion, and I kind of do hesitate to make decisions," I want to encourage you to take back the power in your business. Own the fact that you are the business owner. This is your thing. You are responsible, and you get to be the decider.

It is fine to make the wrong decision. It is not fine to be paralyzed and make no decision at all.

This is one of the biggest problems I see when clients start giving away authority in their own business, and nowhere is it more obvious than in branding projects. You've heard the phrase "too many cooks in the kitchen," and it can absolutely be the downfall of a project.

Early in my career I saw this constantly. We'd get through the mood board phase, into logo concepts or website design, and the client would say "I love it, but I need to ask my spouse, or my business coach, or my VA, or post it on Instagram and see what my audience thinks." Suddenly everyone has an opinion, and there's a real problem with that.

First, most of those people are not your ideal client, so their opinion on the design doesn't actually matter much. Second, most of them don't understand the strategy behind the decisions, so they're judging blindly based on personal taste. And third, there's this strange phenomenon where if you ask someone what they think, they feel like they have to contribute something. Rarely will someone just say "I think it looks great." They'll say "I like it, but you should change this," because they want to put their stamp on it.

That is how you end up on round 25 of logo revisions, miles away from where you started, feeling overwhelmed while I'm over here frustrated because I don't know what you actually want anymore. All those outside opinions have derailed a project that was originally built around your strategy and your goals.

Designing by committee is almost never a good idea. And the exact same thing happens outside of branding. You ask enough people enough questions, get enough conflicting advice, and eventually there are so many voices in your head that you can't tell which one was ever yours.

Decision making is a muscle

Here's what I want you to remember about making decisions: it's a muscle. The more you make decisions, the easier it gets. The more you avoid making them, the harder it gets. Every time you outsource a decision you could have made yourself, that muscle atrophies a little more.

I'm not saying you'll always make the right call. You won't. I certainly haven't always. But confidence doesn't come from being right every time. It comes from making a decision and knowing that even if it turns out wrong, you'll figure it out, learn from it, and make a better one next time.

You get better at this by putting in the reps. That's it. That's the whole secret.

Your clients need you to lead

Here's something I remind myself of often: my clients aren't hiring me because they want another opinion in a sea of opinions. They're hiring me because they want leadership around their brand strategy and design. They want someone willing to confidently say "this is the direction I think we should go." I'm not always right, but my job is to give my best advice and give it with conviction.

The same is true for you, whether you're a coach, a photographer, a consultant, a therapist, or a designer. Your clients need you to lead them confidently. That's what they're paying for. And it is nearly impossible to lead someone else with confidence if, in your own business, you're constantly looking around the room asking "what should I do? What does everyone else think? Is this okay?"

Stop asking for permission and start trusting yourself

Keep seeking wisdom from people further along the path than you. Ask questions. Hire experts. Learn from people doing the thing you want to do. But do not forget that you are still the authority on your own business. No one else holds your vision. No one else has your lived experience. No one else has to live with the consequences of the decisions you make.

At some point, you have to stop asking for permission and start trusting yourself to lead your own business. You will make mistakes. Things will go sideways sometimes. That's okay. That's part of the process, and being okay with the occasional misstep is exactly how you learn to trust yourself again.

🔗 Links & Resources Mentioned In The Episode:

➡️ Follow me on Instagram @spechtand.co
➡️ Book Your Stand Out Brand Strategy Session (use code SFBPOD for $100 off)
➡️ Book A Brand Chat

🎧 Listen to episode 86 of The Six Figure Brand Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and YouTube