Ep. 51 How to Leverage Networking So It's Not a Waste of Your Time with Sarah Gemmell
[This is a Six Figure Brand Society vault training from networking expert Sarah Gemmell]
Networking is time-consuming. Have you done the math? If you attend one weekly meeting, that's 16.5 hours per month. Add in travel time for in-person meetings, monthly meetings, and random coffee chats, and suddenly networking is consuming a massive chunk of your work week.
But here's the thing: you don't necessarily need to do less of it. You just need to make sure that time is actually converting.
You need that time to be marketing time, lead generation time, and brand awareness time. Not just another item on your calendar that leads nowhere.
Sarah Gemmell, the queen of networking, has helped hundreds of business owners generate hundreds of thousands of dollars through quality connections, introductions, and referrals. She built her previous fitness business into a global platform during the pandemic using networking as her main lead generator.
In this training from the Six Figure Brand Society vault, Sarah shares the four adjustments you can make to your networking strategy to stop wasting time and start seeing real ROI.
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What Makes Networking Successful vs. A Waste of Time?
Before we dive into the four adjustments, let's get clear on what we're aiming for.
Successful networking looks like:
Valuable connections and referrals
Leads that actually convert to sales (even if it takes a few steps or a few months)
People taking real interest in helping you
Mutually beneficial relationships
Moving the needle forward in your business
Wasted networking time looks like:
Getting on coffee chats with people you have no alignment with
Meetings that are just fluffy open conversation with no substance
Connections that never lead anywhere
Constantly giving without getting anything back
Sound familiar?
Why Networking Feels Like a Waste of Time
Networking often feels pointless because we just show up and wing it.
When Sarah got into networking, that's exactly what she was doing too. But she quickly realized something crucial: networking to grow a business and networking to get an ROI is actually not an innate skill.
It has nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted or good with people or good at sales.
Networking to grow a business is a skill just like anything else. It requires training and development. It requires auditing and practicing.
When we treat it like a skill instead of just something we show up and wing, it feels less like a waste of time.
The Psychology Problem
Here's what happens: when you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or like your brain is ready to explode from spending time spinning your wheels and not seeing success come out of networking, you take less action.
When we don't see the results we want to see, we typically stop showing up.
The basic psychology of learning a behavior is that we need to be rewarded in order to continue a behavior. There needs to be a dopamine hit, a reward for us to keep going back.
In this case, we want those valuable connections, we want the leads, we want the business growth. That's the reward we're after.
So how do we actually get there?
The 4 Adjustments to Stop Wasting Time in Networking
Adjustment #1: Fix Your Intentions
Your intentions in networking should be brand awareness, visibility, leads, and getting in front of new opportunities. You want your network and referral partners to support your other marketing efforts.
Here's the most important thing Sarah wants you to take from this training: Networking is not sales.
Read that again. Networking is NOT sales.
How to Support Marketing (Not Make Sales)
Start with your offer suite, then figure out the marketing for each offer.
If you have a freebie that does really well on Instagram, you're going to run Facebook ads, or your Google SEO is strong, go into your networking meeting and get your networking partners to support those marketing efforts.
You're not asking them to opt in. That's a sale. You're asking them to support the marketing effort (share it, engage with it, introduce you to someone) so you can get more eyeballs on it.
The Hidden Agenda Problem
Have you ever had a coffee chat with someone and you can tell they're giving you information, but there's a hidden agenda to sell you something?
You ask them what they do, and you can just tell they're trying to get you to buy. That's not magnetizing. That's the exact opposite. That is repelling.
You don't want to talk to that person because you know at some point the pitch is coming because their intention is "Is this person going to be my next client? Where does this person fit into my funnel?"
That's never the goal. If your referral partners come to you and say they need what you have, obviously you're going to say yes. But let them come to you. Let them make that decision. Let them have that autonomy.
Strategy + Authenticity Can Coexist
Sarah hears this a lot, especially from women: "I want my relationships to be genuine. I want to be authentic."
You can be both. You can be strategic in your relationships and be authentic.
Just because you're strategic in how you show up in a relationship does not make you disingenuous. It does not make you spammy. It does not make you fake. Both can exist.
You can always keep people above profit. But at the end of the day, what are you both doing to grow your businesses? That's the important mindset shift in intentions.
Adjustment #2: Implement Actual Strategy
Most of us show up and wing it. But there are two key components to being successful in networking:
You have to show up and get in the room
Once you're in the room, you need strategy to support that action
There needs to be strategy behind:
Where you're going
The intros you're giving
The messaging you're using
The asks you make
How you structure coffee chats
How you pre-qualify coffee chats
Your follow-up systems
How you track metrics
Want to Talk About Not Wasting Time?
Spend less time on coffee chats with people who aren't aligned by having better pre-qualification.
We need to make data-based decisions. You're not new to business. You're experienced. You don't just throw spaghetti at the wall and hope for the best anymore. You need data.
The cool thing about improving your networking strategy is that it doesn't add a lot of time to what you have to commit to. You're already networking. You just need to change the approach.
Strategy includes:
Where you're spending time (diversifying your meetings and events)
What your intro sounds like
How strategic your asks are
How you pre-qualify and structure coffee chats
How you automate and systematize follow-ups
How you track your efforts
At the very top of all this: having a clear understanding of your offer suite and your marketing strategies so you know where you're even driving people to.
Adjustment #3: Change Your Messaging
Remember: networking is not sales. To understand messaging, you have to understand that you are not talking to your ideal client.
Stop messaging your assets in networking to an ideal client. Your intro, your business spotlight, your speaker spotlights, when you're talking to people in a coffee chat—you are not using messaging for the ideal client.
Even if you are talking to your ideal client, pretend like you're not.
You are talking to your referral partner. You are talking to the general public. You need to use language that is meant for the general public.
The Three C's to Making a Referral
There are three C's that determine whether someone will refer you: Confidence, Clarity, and Connection.
Most people think about these in terms of themselves (your own confidence, your own clarity, your own connection to people). But it actually has nothing to do with you.
It has to do with your referral partner's confidence, clarity, and connection.
Confidence: Does your referral partner have the confidence that you know what you're doing and that you're going to take care of the referral? Do they trust you?
Clarity: Are they clear on what you do, who you serve, and what opportunities you're looking for? Are they so clear that they can regurgitate it?
We all know those people we network with who say things like "I help women live their best lives and step into their feminine divine power through foot therapy." And you're thinking, "What does that mean?"
What does "live your best life" mean? That could be a health coach, a financial advisor, a nutritionist, a business coach.
Is your referral partner clear enough that they can tell other people what you do?
Connection: Do they feel connected enough to you that when someone asks "Do you know someone who can run my admin?" you're one of the first people they think of?
How Many People Do You Think of?
Quick exercise: If I ask you "Who do you know that does branding?" how many names come to mind?
Most of the time it's two to four people, right? You're not going to list off every branding expert you've ever met. You're going to think of the top few that you have the best connection to, that you see the most, that you know the best.
The first two C's (Confidence and Clarity) come from your messaging. Typically this is in your introduction, but also in coffee chats, business spotlights, and how you show up in networking overall.
When you make that shift to talking to your referral partner instead of your ideal client, you're going to see much better ROI. When you make them feel more confident and more clear about what you do, it's going to be easier for them to pass the referral.
Adjustment #4: Nurture Your Network
People do not feel connected to you after listening to your 30-second intro one time. They could even listen to your intro every single week, but if you never talk to them outside of that meeting, they're still not going to feel connected to you.
How do you nurture the people in your network?
Think about how many times someone messages you and every time they reach out, it's only to get you to buy something, sell something, or share something.
We all know how that feels. It's gross. And what usually happens? We take those people out of our network. We unfriend them, unfollow them, or tell them to stop messaging.
So we want to make sure we're not accidentally showing up that way.
The Difference Nurturing Makes
Sometimes it's not even intentional. Something comes up where you think "Do I know someone who does branding?" and you remember Morgan does branding. But you haven't talked to Morgan in six months.
When you nurture people systematically, it allows you to really build that relationship and connection. Then when it's time to come to them with a direct ask ("I'm going into a launch and I need you to share it to your email list" or "Can you introduce me to a podcast host?"), it's going to be so much more successful.
Going to referral partners with just an ask and no nurturing makes you look salesy.
When you give more, you will get more.
Give people opportunities, give them shout-outs, give them testimonials, give them engagement on social media. Think about all the really easy ways that you can give—that's the best way to nurture a relationship.
It's not the fake "Hey, how are you?" when you don't actually care how they're doing. You just want to open the conversation to pitch them something. That's not nurturing. That's not caring about someone and building a relationship.
Systematize Your Nurturing
Create systems and automations for referral partners. This looks nothing like a sales funnel. It's not even a newsletter funnel.
Do not put your referral partners on newsletters. They don't want to be there. If they want to be there, they will opt in.
You need a separate system that's all about them. The automation is all about them. Then when you have things that come up where you have a direct ask, that's all done manually and genuinely in conversation.
Practical Application: Coffee Chat Strategy
One of the biggest time-wasters in networking is misaligned coffee chats. Here's how to fix that:
Don't Share Your Calendar Link Publicly
There's absolutely no reason to share your scheduling link publicly on social media or websites. Even in networking groups, the only group that should get your schedule link is your own group because you know those people.
Your calendar is not just open. Make sure you're sending that calendar link to the right people.
Do a Vibe Check First
Before you send someone your calendar link, have a conversation with them first. Ask:
What do you want to have a coffee chat for?
What are your intentions?
What are your goals?
What do you do?
There needs to be some kind of vibe check to ensure you have complementary industries, mutual friends, similar audiences, or a clear intention.
Red Flags to Watch For
"I want to see how I can add value to your audience" is an automatic sales pitch. An automatic no.
If someone is trying to see how they can add value without knowing anything about you first, don't get on a coffee chat with them.
Don't be afraid to tell people: "Hey, I'm just booked up for coffee chats right now. I would love to get to know you in the DMs." Have a conversation with them in the DMs first, then send out the link if it makes sense.
Time Boundaries
Never schedule more than 30 minutes for a first-time coffee chat. If you see someone's link is 60 minutes, either ask them to send a new link or send them yours.
Sarah's first-time coffee chats are 15 minutes. That gives her a natural out to say "Thank you so much, I'll be in contact" if it's not aligned. But because she's pre-qualifying, that rarely happens.
Pre-Qualification Questions
When people schedule through your link, have questions that make it clear:
You're not here to pick my brain
You're not here to sell me something
You're not here to get free advice
Some people might say your form is "abrasive," but 100% of the time it's effective and 100% of the time they end up appreciating it.
And if someone checks all the boxes that they're not going to sell you something and they still try to sell you something? They get blacklisted from your calendar.
Tracking Your Networking Efforts
To make data-based decisions about which networking groups and strategies are worth your time, you need to track your efforts.
The Lead Tracking Exercise
Think about your leads for the last 30-60 days. Write down where those leads came from and try to track them back to the origin.
Did they find you organically on Instagram?
Did they find you through a Google search?
Did they somehow through the pipeline end up coming from a referral?
Maybe that referral didn't make a direct introduction. Maybe Danielle referred you to a Facebook group, tagged you in a post, you talked to that person, that person invited you to a networking event, you went to that event, met another person, and that person became a lead.
That gets tied back to Danielle. And then you think about where you met Danielle. That group where you met Danielle is obviously working because it got you a lead.
This kind of tracking helps you understand which networking investments are actually paying off.
When to Walk Away from a Networking Group
It's okay to not like someone. It's okay to decide a group isn't a good fit. You don't typically need to tell people you think you're misaligned (unless they keep hitting you up).
Just back off. Remove people from your email list so they stop coming to your events. Stop sending follow-ups after coffee chats.
Signs a Group Isn't Worth Your Time
Look at the facilitator. The facilitator sets the standard and energy for a room. If the facilitator's version of networking is just seeing what they can get for free out of people, that's a red flag. They're going to attract more people like that.
Look at whether people are passing business. Are members actually passing business back and forth with each other? Are they collaborating?
If you show up to a group and no one's passing any business, you're not getting any business, and everyone's just talking without action, it's just not a fit.
But if you show up to a group where everyone else is passing business and you're not getting referrals, there's something wrong with your approach.
Industry Doesn't Matter As Much As You Think
Keep an open mind about industries. Yes, there are ideal referral partners (like branding and copywriting working together closely).
But branding and photo booths? There's not this super obvious power partner relationship. That's where you need to stay open to unexpected opportunities.
You might never do a collaboration together, but you both know people. It's all about who you both know and what types of opportunities you can introduce each other to.
What matters more:
Are you aligned in how you do business?
Are you aligned in how you approach networking?
Are you aligned in why you're here?
Are you both actually interested in passing business and collaborating?
Networking Isn’t A Waste of Time
Networking isn't a waste of time when you approach it strategically. The four adjustments you need to make to leverage net working so it’s not a waste of your time are:
Fix Your Intentions: Networking is marketing, not sales
Implement Strategy: Stop winging it and start tracking
Change Your Messaging: Speak to referral partners, not ideal clients
Nurture Your Network: Build real connections systematically
Small tweaks to your approach won't overwhelm you or drive you crazy, but they make such a difference in the actual conversion to leads and referrals.
You're already networking. You just need to change the approach.
🔗 Links & Resources Mentioned In The Episode:
➡️ Follow Sarah on Instagram @sarahgemmell_
➡️ Check out Sarah's Website
➡️ Follow Morgan on Instagram @spechtand.co
➡️ Learn More About The Six Figure Brand® Society (Use Code FIRSTMONTH for $50 Off Your First Month or FIRSTQUARTER for $100 Off Your First Quarter)
🎧 Listen to episode 51 of The Six Figure Brand Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and YouTube
